HARMONIZING DIFFERENCE
			The IC ‘harmonizing difference within’ approach supports those involved in conflict in profoundly shifting their internal experience and thereby actually changing the rules of engagement. The so-called opposing party is not required to shift.  Often, however, once one party shifts, the entire conflict changes, sometimes toward benefiting both in unexpected ways. For many, conflict is a paralyzing experience in business, family life and communities.  An IC understanding of the value of conflict suggests that conflict can often be the creative edge of fruitful internal growth, when handled as such. All realms of conflict resolution, from international to business and family relations, have felt the effects of ‘value based’ inquiry.  The IC approach is unique as follows: 1) We have a choice regarding our reaction to another. We can use our projections about others, whether so-called positive or negative, to gain insight into aspects of self. 2) In response to ‘what’s present’ in the moment, we accept that we make our own movie of  ‘what is.’ This position maximizes our creative choice about next steps. If it’s ‘out there,’ it’s ‘in here’ and we have the power to change our own internal experience of ‘what’s present.’ 3) We cannot ‘get what we want’ through manipulatively holding a picture that involves another independent life stream.  We are free to choose that which we assess is most constructive for our own well-being; and the other is similarly free to choose what’s in his/her perceived best interest. 4) Compassion for ourselves is bringing forward limiting beliefs and reframing them into affirmations more supportive of our heartfelt goals and aspirations.  We work with the concept that what we focus upon expands. We can choose to release being wrong or making another wrong and forgive.  Compassion for another is being present to another’s pain and accepts the other’s free choice, acknowledging they have within them all the necessary resources to heal. 5) Prizing, heartfelt listening, loving energy, forgiveness, gratitude, techniques of inner gestalt—intangible esoteric methods—profoundly shift an experience of conflict with another; even without the other’s conscious participation. This shift opens up often unanticipated avenues for resolution. 6) Changing ourselves holds the possibility of being a powerful way of introducing change between ourselves and another.